I was so jealous to see her on stage….

Just a few weeks back, I saw that a woman I used to know was giving a talk on a big stage. I hadn’t seen her in a while and I had wondered what she was up to now. As I read the flyer I felt myself experiencing jealousy and resentment. She appeared so confident on that stage. I didn’t like the way I was feeling – we both came from humble beginnings and look at her now!!!!!

“HEY, HEY, HEY WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?’
I’m jolted out of my negative thoughts about her by my internal policing agent – the voice inside me that has common sense and the storehouse for all that I have learned about unconscious bias. She’s the voice who takes over when conditioned thinking messes things up for me. I love it when she shows up to shake me out of my conditioning.
Education has been my saving grace – when I know better I do better and I’m grateful that I can challenge those conditioned thoughts with common sense and logic. What I learned as a child no longer serves me. It has not been like the flicking of a switch. 
I prefer to liken it to dusting a hardwood floor – those dust bunnies can be pretty sneaky. every now and then a giant one will show up even after I thought I had them all. 
So I looked at that flyer again – my friend making it onto that big stage. “Well, way to go girl. I will tip my hat to ya.  I am proud of you for taking new ground.”
I also took it easy on myself – it’s been a lot of work to get here. I’m proud of that work. 
Unconscious bias can really hurt your money maker. Challenging those assumptions that may have served to keep you stuck is hard work and every now and then you’ve got to do a little tune up when you start to slip. It is worth it. 

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